It’s comin’ on

Lovely and I have been together for over a year and a half now. Our lives are great, ma sha Allah. We have our own place, we have our friends that we are out to, we have family support – hers more supporting than mine, oddly enough (probably the baptism of fire thing). We’re both working and making some money, we’re both saving and buidling our lives. We have a tv where we watch the horrible news of our lives; we have warm blankets to sleep under; we have a housemate who adores us and whom we adore. Her family sends over food regularly, since they nearby. Life is good, alhamdu lillah.

So we’re starting to organize around queer issus. Right now, we’ve set up a semi monthly meeting of queer folk. We had our first one last week and it went oddly, but well, I think. The next one is middle of next week.

It’s scary. You don’t know who all the people are and you don’t know who to trust. And they don’t know if they can trust you. That’s probably our greatest asset, in the end – mutual distrust.

I don’t know what we’re building, but we’re building.

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16 thoughts on “It’s comin’ on

  1. It is, though, somewhat remarkable how many things can materialise out of distrust, provided someone’s willing to take the first step. At the risk of being a paranoid nancy-boy, be careful though.

  2. I just came across your blog while on reading someone else’s on another site.. and I have to say it made me so happy: you’re intelligent, eloquent, happy in the relationship you’re in, and — from what it sounds like, located in Pakistan?

    I’m from there – although not there currently – and I always wondered if there were LGBT couples there in viable relationships who were actually courageous and honest enough to be out to their friends/loved ones.

    Even if you’re not there, it makes me proud to know there are other Pakistani lesbians out there that are intelligent and staying true to themselves rather than painfully (thinking its stoically) shoving themselves into the moul of a good Pakistani daughter/housewife/whatever.

    I wish you and your partner the best and pray for your happiness…

    I guess reading your blog made me feel a little less alone.

  3. How wonderful do you have a home together! I’m so happy you’re celebrating a year and a half together — watching you two together always makes me smile, always a good sign when people’s love for each other is infectious :-). I’m excited to hear about all your projects, wish I could be more involved, inshallah someday soon. Wish I was there. Love, a

  4. It is just plain awesome to hear that you guys are doing so goodMashallah. :)

    The periodic meetings sound great too, I only wish we had something like that while I was in Pak too, but I’m glad to know that theres an outlet for people like us.

    You guys are doing good work,

    Best of Luck! :)

  5. I wish you’d lose the Mashallahs and the alhamdullillahs.

    Ayaan is sooooo much more real than Manji. This whole religion thing is such meaningless, oppressive crap that it boggles the mind that someone intelligent can cling to it even peripherally.

    I get it why people who just go through life without living it do it. I so don’t get it when thinking-for-themselves, norm defying, sensible people do it as well. People with a “healthy distrust”!

  6. Thanks everyone for all the good wishes, I’d really apreciate it.

    @sista: I’m a religious person. I understand other people having more than a healthy distrust and well into a complete rejection of religion. But I’m a religious person.

  7. “we’ve set up a semi monthly meeting of queer folk.”

    where do you guys meet? in lahore? hey, i don’t wanna be left out! send me an email and get to know me, and after you’re sure that i’m not a creep you wanna avoid, you can invite me for the next meeting!

  8. Hey, great blog.

    I’ve been with my ‘lovely’ for 3 years now; we originally met in Pakistan. You might know her: she goes by the nickname ‘Ned’.

    Anyway, keep up the activism :)

  9. Babe, I must post a correction: it’s going to be 4 years this summer, not 3. Now you have to overlook all those times I couldn’t remember our anniversary. ;-)

    I’ll be interested in joining in on the gatherings from time to time depending on how much workload I have when I come back to Lahore around July. I’ve got some interesting films and documentaries we could screen.

  10. Btw I’m friends with freethinker above … I can vouch for him … he’s a super-nice guy.

    Are you guys also networking with queer men or is just queer women for now?

  11. Hey,

    So good to hear that queer folk in Pakistan are coming together. I’m just concerned for all of you and hope that you guys are in a safe space. The religious fanatics are managing to infiltrate every single sphere in Pakistan now. I’ve heard of all sorts of people, schools and companies getting death threats for trivial things like hiring non-Muslims. I guess what I’m saying is that please be careful about who you let in to your inner circle. These guys are smart cookies- the pose as us liberal folk, but they’re really not. I’m speaking from personal experience.

  12. Hey I’m a 2nd year student at Carleton Uni here in Ottawa. I am a Pakistani, Muslim, Karachiite, gay man. I’m really involved with the GLBTQ on campus and was looking for a GLBT support group in pakistan for the summer. Thus was wondering are you guys based in Karachi, Lahore or Isloo?

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