But rather than explain where I’ve been (really busy), I’m going to go somewhere entirely else instead.
I found out from my mom today that one of my cousins, on the foreign (read: liberal) side, thinks that gay people chose to be gay. She’s a really cool kid, this cousin. A freshman in college. Going to be a teacher. She thinks that gay people choose gayness.
I haven’t met her yet or had the chance to talk to her about anything she thinks about or believes in. So it’s second-hand information. Along with that, I’m not out to anyone in my family aside from my parents and I have no intention to be out to anyone else any time soon. Which limits the opportunities for conversation.
But I was thinking, while sitting on the crapper, that if the conversation came up – or rather, if I asked her why she thought this thing – I don’t know if I’d want to know. I mean, I don’t know if I care enough to argue with her. Not “care” maybe. I don’t know how to argue after a certain number of arguments. Beccause they’re all the same. And after I’ve talked to someone once, twice, thrice, I get bored out of my mind. And frustrated. I lose compassion.
But this one’s a kid. She’s 11 years younger than me. I should make the damn effort.
It’s just that, once I’ve learned whatever I needed to learn, I tend to be unable, unwilling or too lazy to argue for someone else’s sake.
Deep shit, this is.