You know I won’t be shocked if, late in life, I develop multiple personality disorder. I’m well on my way to it. My girlfriend has left the country for a little over a month and, as she was leaving, I thought all of these things: 1) shit I’m going to miss her, I’m so miserable; 2) it’ll be good to not have to be a pleasant person four or five times a day because that’s how often we speak on the phone when we’re not in the same city and I’m just not that nice, but I don’t want to be a bitch to her just because I’m generally a bitch; 3) do I really want to be in this relationship right now? 4) God, she’s adorable! 5) I really can’t spend this much time with one person.
Now that she’s gone, I’m thinking: 1) oh my God, she’s gone, I’m happy about that! 2) am I going to be a total shit when she gets back and have trouble relating? 3) ooh that asshole man of hers…. I hope they don’t even kiss; 4) why hasn’t she called or emailed yet, dammit, it doesn’t take that long to get there!!
Somebody buy me a fuckin chill pill.